Sunday, July 11, 2010

Smooth Sailing

[You’re screaming down the front stretch at Indy and about to inhale the car in front of you when, unexpectedly, he pulls down into your line and BAM—you’re airborne. {Freeze Frame} Pop up the visor, take a deep breath, and have a look around. You’re 10 feet off the deck and staring down the throat of the Turn 1 catch fence at over 200 mph.]

So, while you’re temporarily spared a very unenviable fate and just hanging out, ask yourself this: Would I rather slam into the current cheese-grater of a fence that will summarily shred my car (and maybe me) into 1.3 million pieces and shower them like pixy dust all over my fellow competitors; or, maybe hit something a bit more forgiving? Something considerably less ferocious? Something smooth... yea, smooth, that might bang me around and ring my noggin like a cheap kabuki gong, but essentially spit me back out on track in remarkably good shape, all things considered?

Now, I don’t know whose idea a smooth, “hockey-style” catch fence was—some cursory research revealed it being bantered about on the Net at least as far back as ’04—but I think it’s something the IZOD IndyCar Series owes its competitors and fans to, at least, investigate.

No, I don’t know if it will work; no, I don’t know how much it will cost and; selfishly, no, I don’t know if I want to be staring through a clear plastic screen while sitting in the stands. But in light of recent (and not-so-distantly past) events, it seems like something worth considering.

Sure, racing will always have a danger element, but is that a super-license to dismiss safety opportunities [insert HANS Device and SAFER Barrier arguments here]?

I’m not blindly endorsing the idea, just bringing it up for discussion. I suspect you have an opinion on the subject, so please share it via the poll, above, or the comment section, below. I also imagine these guys might have a word or two to say about it: Mike Conway, Ryan Briscoe, Kenny Bräck, Davey Hamilton, Tony Renna (1976–2003).

[Now, back to the action. Drop that visor... {Roll Tape}]

—JM

Editor’s note: I’m not one for sensationalism, but if you absolutely can’t help yourself from wanting to see what sort of carnage the current iteration of catch fence can cause, click
here, then scroll down.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Wheels of Fortune: An Open Letter to Dreyer & Reinbold Racing

Dear Dennis, Robbie, and Larry:

Hey, whassup? So, since the 24 car has already been a rolling paradise to such driver cast-offs as Tomas Scheckter, Graham Rahal, and Paul Tracy, why not make it official?

For the remainder of the 2010 season, dedicate the 24 as home to the super-subs—sanctuary to all the rideless and semi-rideless shoes we’d love to see in the series full-time, but can’t... maybe throw a rookie in the deep end while you’re at it.

I knew you’d ask, so here’s my suggested lineup for the remaining races:

Toronto: Bruno Junqueira
Edmonton: Oriol Servia
Mid-Ohio: Graham Rahal
Infineon: Paul Tracy
Chicagoland: Graham Rahal
Kentucky: Ed Carpenter
Motegi: JR Hildebrand
Homestead: Wade Cunningham

Seems easy enough. Larry? Robbie? Bueller... anyone?

Much love,

Johnny Montona
Chairman, Unemployed IZOD IndyCar Drivers’ Advocacy Coalition

[Um... that’s a lie. I’m not, not the chairman. And, well... there’s actually no coalition. Sorry. Uh, never mind. I feel dirty...]

P.S. Get well soon, M. Conway.